Reading the Same Books as Your Kids Is a Game-Changer
As parents and caregivers, staying connected to your kids can sometimes feel like navigating uncharted waters. But one simple, powerful way to foster connection is to read the same books they’re reading. Reading the same books as your kids means more than just keeping up with their schoolwork or hobbies. It’s a way to stay engaged, share meaningful moments, and tackle tough conversations.
Stay in Synch 🔃
When you read the books your kids are exploring, you’re stepping into their world. Whether it’s a classroom assignment, a gripping series, or a bedtime favorite, books often reflect the interests and challenges young people are encountering. By reading alongside them, you’re keeping pace with their academic journey and their personal growth. Dive into their books and you’ll better understand what excites them or what bores them. You’ll not only find out what they’re learning, you’ll also have insight into the influences and ideas that are shaping their perspectives.
Create Shared References 🫶
Books provide a natural way to create shared experiences. When you both know the characters, settings, and storylines, you’re building a common frame of reference that’s perfect for sparking conversation. From laughing together at a funny scene to debating a character’s choices, books offer countless opportunities to connect in an authentic, judgment-free way.
These shared references can help strengthen your relationship. Instead of asking the sometimes-dreaded, “How was school?” or “what did you do today?” You can engage your children with questions such as:
“What did you think about what happened to a particular character in Chapter 4?”
“Do you agree with the choice [the character] made? Why?
“How do you think the character felt?”
That simple shift shows genuine interest and invites more meaningful conversation. Knowing how your kids feel about a character or a choice gives you insight into what they value or who their heroes are, without having to probe. These same techniques can work with nonfiction too. You’ll learn whom your kids admire, the topics that interest them, or the events they find meaningful.
Open Doors to Difficult Conversations 🔑
Books can also be invaluable tools for navigating tricky topics. Whether it’s addressing behaviors, discussing friendships, or exploring sensitive issues like bullying, books create a "safe zone." Characters and storylines provide a neutral, third-person lens to discuss real-life challenges without making your child feel interrogated or judged.
For instance, if a book features a character struggling with peer pressure, you can ask, “Why do you think [character] acted that way? What do you think he should have done? What would you have done?” This indirect approach encourages critical thinking and allows your child to share their thoughts without feeling the spotlight is directly on them.
Books also offer the opportunity to put forward your values or learn what your children think and feel about a tough topic. Many books show adolescents navigating difficult circumstances related to peer pressure, challenging home life, substance abuse, domestic violence, sexual relationships, parental neglect and countless other situations young people encounter as they mature. If you and your teen both read the same book, you can talk about an issue as it relates to the character, not your teen or her friends. You might just be surprised by what slips into a conversation when your teen is talking about what happened to the character in the book, and how it’s just like what someone she knows is going through.
Strengthen Bonds Through Storytelling 🫂
By reading together, you’re also modeling lifelong habits. Kids who see adults engaging with books are more likely to develop a love for reading themselves. Plus, sharing stories becomes a family ritual that deepens your connection and creates cherished memories or provide touchpoints to check in with your kids.
How to Get Started 🏁
Ask your child for recommendations: Let them choose a book they love or are excited about. This empowers them and makes them more eager to share the experience.
Start a Family Book Club: Set aside time to read and discuss a chapter or two each week.
Leverage Technology: Use tools like e-readers or audiobooks to make reading accessible for everyone, even during a busy week.
So, grab a copy of your kids’ latest read and dive in. You might discover more than just a good story—you might uncover new layers of connection with your child.
Happy reading! 💫
